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Crisis Line
1-800-270-1620 or 641-673-5499
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Empowering Our |
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Volume III, Issue 1 |
January 2003 |
|
[ Men: Teach, Listen and Model Early and
Often | ADVOCATE RECOGNIZED BY COALITION | Tickets
on sale now for 3rd annual Vintage Charity Ball | Keeping
Hope Alive | Support
Needed To Overcome Funding Cuts | Did you miss us
in October? | VISION
STATEMENT | Words Do Hurt | Dating
Violence in Schools | Oskaloosa
Doctor “Digs” Helping – Wins Award | The
Season of Giving | GLBT Conference a Success | WPU
Hosts Finding Your Voice Week | Needs Assessment
Results | Date Rape Drugs | Abuse
is a Health Issue | Counting on the Community | Date
Set for CIS Golf Tournament | Christmas
in the Shelter | I am Free | Debates
Should Focus on Solutions, Not Blame | Shelter in
Need of Repair ]
Men: Teach, Listen and Model Early and Often
When we think of domestic abuse, we often tend to think that it happens only to women above the age of 18. Unfortunately, according to the Family Violence Prevention Fund in San Francisco, one in five girls say they have experienced dating violence. How can men as caring adults intervene? After all, men can and should play a role in preventing abusive behavior of boys toward girls. Sometimes, the only messages boys receive are the wrong ones. Families, friends, neighbors, television, the internet, and music often carry a stream of violent messages. These messages must be countered by positive responses regarding relationships. Men are in a unique position to help. Fathers, brothers, uncles, coaches, teachers, and mentors can all play a part. They can teach boys that hands are not for hitting and words are not for hurting. They can let them know that there are appropriate ways of expressing anger and frustration that do not hurt others. They can let boys know that certain actions and behaviors are out of bounds. They can talk with them about what it means to be fair and respectful. The difficult part for adults is that boys will rarely approach a male adult about how they should treat girls. That does not mean they don’t want to know. If men see a poor example, they can talk about it. If they hear talk that is hurtful, demeaning, or disrespectful, they can challenge it. In short, men can become allies against violence by providing options for better ways of handling oneself. The greatest impact on a young man’s life comes from people he admires. Boys need to know that men will always be there to talk. Men who are there can make a big difference in a young man’s life.
ADVOCATE RECOGNIZED BY COALITION
Karla Lee, Court/Children’s Services Coordinator of CIS, was
recognized by the Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault at their 20th
Annual Meeting on November 20, 2002 for her outstanding legal advocacy
for survivors of sexual assault in Mahaska and Keokuk counties. Only
ten awards were given statewide. Karla has been with CIS for three years.
She is a certified Sexual Assault Advocate and a certified Domestic Violence
Advocate. “Karla is a person who possesses incredible advocacy
skills. She is an asset to our communities and I am pleased that her
work was recognized at the state level,” said Dawn Stephens, Executive
Director. “During the past year, Karla’s dedication to providing
quality services for survivors has been invaluable as we began providing
services in Keokuk County for the first time,” she added. During
the past year, Karla has provided services to over 165 people.
Tickets on sale now for 3rd annual Vintage Charity Ball
Fundraising Committee members are in the throes of excited preparation
for the 3rd annual Vintage Charity Ball. This year’s ball will
be held Saturday, March 8, at Elmhurst Country Club. Committee members
moved the ball to March in an effort to avoid inclement weather and
conflicts with many other events held in February. Another change this
year is that CIS board members and staff will sell tickets, rather
than send invitations to the ball. Last year we had a wonderful time
with a mixture of people dressed in modern formalwear and vintage attire
ranging from Medieval to 1970s. We’ve lowered the price this
year, too. Tickets are $35 per person or $60 per couple and include
hors d’oevres, dinner and dance. A social hour with a cash bar
will begin at 6 p.m. with dinner served at 7 p.m. The Elmhurst Country
Club staff will serve a buffet of roast beef and Southwest chicken,
rice pilaf, Italian blend vegetables, hot rolls, tossed salad with
poppy seed dressing,
and turtle cheesecake for dessert. The dance will
begin at 8:30 p.m. with JR Sound Company of Oskaloosa once again providing
a variety of music. Participants will want to bring their checkbooks,
too, as CIS will continue the tradition of the silent auction added
to last year’s Vintage Charity Ball. If you would like to donate
items for the auction, please call Debbie Doty, fundraising chairperson,
at 641-673-4173. Items should be in good, clean condition and easily
portable. As always, the event will be an upscale social event and
is one of CIS’s two main fundraisers. Dress is formal or vintage
attire, with vintage being what you make of it. Last year, some people
rented their outfits, others made costumes, and still others found
vintage clothing in the backs of their closets or second-hand stores.
Tickets are on sale now with CIS board members or at the CIS office.
For more information, call 641-673-0336. Seating is limited, so get
yours soon and join other CIS supporters for an elegant evening of
food and fun.
Keeping Hope Alive
By Richard Martin, Ph.D., Chairperson, Board of Directors
Crisis Intervention Services continues to serve an average of over 60 survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and other crimes per month. More than half of these individuals receive services through our local shelter. A dedicated group of staff and volunteers continue to provide the victims services this area so badly needs, and had previously gone too long without. CIS also benefits from the voluntary efforts of its Board members, who represent law enforcement, local businesses, nursing, mental health, and most importantly, families and friends of survivors. All of these selfless people work tireless hours in support of our mission: to provide support, resources, and hope for a better future to persons affected by domestic abuse, sexual assault, and other crises. Recent changes in state funding for domestic abuse and sexual assault programs (see “CIS losing $61,000 in state funding”, Oskaloosa Herald, October 7) may have challenged our budget, but not our conviction. We remain strong as an agency, and as a source of hope for those in need of services. We, too, are survivors. Come join us: We will challenge ourselves to think outside the box, adjust and adapt as necessary, as we continually face the challenges that lie ahead of us. In the spirit of this season, and many, many seasons to come, we will keep hope alive.
Support Needed To Overcome Funding Cuts
As most of you know, CIS is facing the loss of up to $60,000 in state and federal funding. While it is still very uncertain, the word is that state funding may be restored. This would hopefully reduce the anticipated loss to only $20,000-30,000. The loss is due to the end of the contract period of several private grants as well as cuts in federal funding sources. During the past few months, the CIS Board of Directors and staff members have done everything they can to ensure the continuation of services to our community. We have encouraged community members to write public officials and request that the state domestic abuse and sexual abuse funds be restored. Our efforts were part of an orchestrated response to the elimination of our funding that was sponsored by the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault. Over 600 letters were sent to public officials from citizens of Mahaska and Keokuk Counties! The Fundraising Committee distributed a fundraising letter to 5,000 residents, churches, civic organizations, and businesses in our service area and the Board of Directors proactively began researching ways to cut program costs several months ago.
Many people have asked how they can help. Community members can assist us in many different ways during this time of great need:
- In-kind and monetary donations are a big help!
- Volunteers are always needed to help at the shelter and office, answer our crisis line, and to provide transportation.
- Volunteers who serve on the Board of Directors are able to provide leadership for CIS
- Volunteers who serve on our Fundraising Committee are able to assist us with raising needed funds for services.
- Citizens in our communities can contact their newly elected representatives and state officials and offer support for the restoration of our state funding (and the line item for our funding).
- Citizens in our communities can attend our “Storm the Capitol” day in February to display a united front for victim service programs while we request our line item and funding be restored and address other legislative issues.
Did you miss us in October?
CIS has changed to bi-annual distribution of our newsletter, instead of quarterly, to conserve resources. We will continue to give you at least the same amount and the same quality of information.
VISION STATEMENT
Crisis Intervention Services
believes that everyone
has the right to freedom
from violence and oppression.
We commit ourselves to this vision through intervention, prevention, and education.
We are advocates for social change within our community, our state, and the nation.
Approved September 2002
Words Do Hurt
The old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is not true. Statistically, the number one problem in elementary schools is bullying. Many teachers in Mahaska County and Keokuk County readily agree. We have talked with many adults who recall words that were once spoken that hurt them deeply. Some of these adults were remembering incidents from thirty or forty years ago. Words hurt children’s hearts. They can penetrate and leave scars that can have a lasting effect on children. CIS is developing a new program which teaches children that picking on one another is not right. Children have the right to learn in a safe environment without fear. Students who engage in bullying behaviors seem to have a need to feel powerful and in control. They appear to derive satisfaction from inflicting injury and suffering on others, and they have little empathy for their victims. They often defend their actions by saying that the victim provoked them in some way. Bullying can dramatically affect the ability of students to progress academically and socially. We hope that our new program will provide intervention that will involve all students, parents, and school staff to ensure that all students can learn in a safe and fear-free environment.
Dating Violence in Schools
Teen dating violence can affect anyone. It is not unique to any class, gender, religion, ethnic group, community, or sexual orientation. Many girls who experience dating violence do not recognize the abuse as such. Youth who are victims are more likely than other teens to use drugs, have eating disorders, engage in risky sexual activity, become teen parents, and contemplate or attempt suicide. Teens need to be aware that power, control, and manipulation do not signify love. Too often, fear, shame, and denial prohibit the abused person from seeking the help that is needed. CIS has been working with administration in the Oskaloosa High School and Junior High School to provide preventive education on these issues. We also plan to provide annual workshops with parents of teens to help them better recognize and understand the effects of dating violence on our youth. We hope that our collaborative efforts will result in a more effective way of promoting healthy dating relationships among teens and a raised awareness of this important issue affecting our youth every day.
Oskaloosa Doctor “Digs” Helping – Wins Award
Nick Messamer, M.D. will do just about anything for Crisis Intervention
Services (CIS), including getting down on the ground and digging with
his neighbors when needed. But that’s the least of it – “He’s
a strong ally for our community and for survivors of domestic violence,” said
Dawn Stephens, Executive Director of CIS. “He is always there
when we need him.” Just in the past year, Dr. Messamer has taken
several calls from his local domestic violence outreach center to help.
He has responded by providing medical care to victims of domestic violence
in the shelter and provided that care at reduced or no cost, when necessary – he
has even responded to calls after hours. But in addition to sensitive
work with clients, Dr. Messamer is not afraid to get his hands dirty
to make sure that the local domestic violence shelter stays open. When
the calls come for help, Dr. Messamer is there. He and his wife, Karen,
have provided significant financial contributions and support CIS fundraising
and awareness activities regularly. When the
shelter opened, they helped CIS by installing a privacy fence, which
included two long weekends of digging fence-pole holes and putting up
the fence. Dr. Messamer has continued to assist with various other maintenance
issues, and much more. Dr. Messamer received the Iowa Department of Public
Health’s 2002 Award for Outstanding Response to Domestic Violence
by a Physician on Friday, October 9. The Lieutenant Governor presented
the award at a formal ceremony at the Capitol Building. Karen Messamer,
Office Manager of The Doctor’s Office, has also been very involved
with assisting victims of domestic violence. She has actively encouraged
legislation to benefit victims of domestic violence and she served on
the Board of Directors of CIS for five years. During her tenure as a
board member, she devoted many hours to CIS by assisting with fundraisers
and awareness activities. In addition, she raffled her car to help open
the CIS shelter in 2000 and raised over $2,500. Adapted from a press
release written by the Iowa Department of Public Health
The Season of Giving
“I know that the community cares about what happens to me.
I am thankful now that it [my suicide attempt] was not done right.”
— A Shelter Resident
Statements like this show what our work at CIS is truly about—saving people’s lives. This is an enormous responsibility. But, the Board of Directors, staff members, and volunteers of CIS are not alone — we could not do it alone. Oskaloosans have again shown that the Christmas season is a season of giving to those in need. Thank you for sharing this responsibility with us. Before Thanksgiving, our monetary donations were down significantly from previous years. Now, thanks to many wonderful businesses, churches, individuals, and civic groups, our donations have increased a lot. Many people have supported us for the first time. Your support and generosity is needed now more than ever, and we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. While we recognize that we cannot list everyone who has given to us, we would like to give a special thank you to the Amateur Radio Club, American Association of University Women, Cedar Christian Reformed Church, Central Reformed Church, First Church of the Nazarene, Friends Church, Horizon State Bank, Leighton State Bank, Mahaska Ruritan Club, Paslode Corporation, St. Mary’s Church, St. Paul United Congregational Church of Christ, and United Methodist Women of Fremont.
GLBT Conference a Success
CIS and the Crisis Center & Women’s Shelter in Ottumwa co-sponsored a workshop for human services professionals in October. The workshop focused on GLBT (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transsexual) issues including myths and realities of the gay culture and rates of domestic abuse in GLBT relationships. The presenters were members of the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence GLBT Caucus. The caucus is committed to increasing awareness about battering in GLBT relationships and promoting inclusive and culturally competent services to survivors. Over 30 people, primarily from Ottumwa, Oskaloosa, and Knoxville, attended the workshop, and they were given a dynamic four-hour presentation with invaluable information and resources. The workshop assisted participants with increasing their sensitivity to GLBT issues by encouraging them to address cultural stereotypes, biases, and homophobic attitudes. The presenters offered many recommendations on improving service delivery, especially through ensuring that services and program policies are available and friendly to the GLBT population. Detailed information about domestic abuse in GLBT relationships and how to best serve GLBT victims of abuse were also provided.
WPU Hosts Finding Your Voice Week
The week of October 14-18 was William Penn’s third annual Finding Your Voice: Speaking Out Against Violence Week. The idea for this started in the fall of 2001 by Christine Rogers, a former psychology professor at William Penn. Melissa McDuffie, campus counselor and instructor of psychology, took on Finding Your Voice Week this year and turned it into an event that brought many guests to campus. McDuffie worked with Dawn Stephens, Executive Director of Crisis Intervention Services. A committee was formed that included McDuffie, Stephens, Director of Campus Ministries Mike Moyer, Director of Student Services Chris Brees, student Sheri Roder, and Dr. Rich Martin, Executive Director of New Directions. The activities featured included a t-shirt rally, Silent Witness Display, Self-Defense class, Survivor Impact Panel, Community Response Panel, and discussion groups. Purple ribbons were also available for students and faculty to wear in support of violence awareness. The t-shirt rally was to show some of the effects of violence for the continuation of The Clothesline Project. The Silent Witness Display had to be booked a year in advance; William Penn had the display for three days in the hallway of the student union. McDuffie said, “It is my hope that people realize that violence occurs to many people in different forms, not just sexual assaults but also physical assaults and child abuse, for example. The committee is already looking at plans for next year and a new event being considered is a mock trial.” Throughout the week, student athletes were challenged to come to the events and show their leadership and support. The most involved sports team was women’s volleyball, followed by the football team. Tied for third place was women’s basketball and wrestling; the cheerleading squad came in fourth place. Next year, the challenge will be extended to all students and athletes. McDuffie expressed her feelings about Finding Your Voice Week: “The events were well received by participants; those who came learned something and enjoyed it.” “I really appreciate the athletic support from both coaches and students.”
Adapted from the William Penn Chronicle article by Veronica Edwards with permission.
Needs Assessment Results
Last July, CIS distributed a questionnaire through various mediums with the goal of evaluating our services. Over 400 surveys were distributed in which we queried respondents on the value of and familiarity with our services. We were pleased with the results, which indicated that our services meet the vast majority of needs we are trying to fill and that our organization is received very favorably as well. We learned that our visibility is stronger in Mahaska County than Keokuk County. We attribute that to the fact that we have been in Mahaska County for five years, and Keokuk County is a new service area for us. Also, many respondents did not know the extent of the services that we offer; most were familiar with some services, but not all. We plan to continue to strengthen awareness of the many ways in which we meet the needs of survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and other crises. And finally, we asked respondents to identify additional ways in which we could be of service to them or someone they know. While the suggestions were helpful, most were outside the purview of our agency or beyond our budgetary constraints. Where able, we will always try to accommodate the ever-increasing needs of the people we serve. If you did not have an opportunity to complete a questionnaire but wish to share your thoughts with us, you are always welcome to do so.
Date Rape Drugs
According to the National Women’s Study, 683,000 forcible rapes occur every year. Many of these assaults involve alcohol and drugs, which are often used voluntarily by both the victim and the offender. In the mid– and late 1990’s, rape crisis centers began hearing reports that drugs, often referred to as “roofies” and “liquid ecstasy” were being administered to immobilize victims and impair their memory, thus facilitating rape. Two drugs in particular, Rohypnol and GHB, are being used. Victims may not be aware that they have ingested drugs or that they have been raped. Reports of such assaults have brought drug-facilitated rape into sharp focus in recent years. There are several things people can do to try to avoid becoming a victim of rape under the influence of these drugs:
- Be wary about accepting drinks from someone you don’t know very well
- Don’t put your drink down and leave it unattended
- Notify the authorities or call CIS if you think that you have been a victim of rape
Abuse is a Health Issue
Many people realize that domestic abuse and sexual assault are social problems of significant proportions. Many people recognize that domestic abuse and sexual assault are criminal behaviors. But do we know that domestic abuse and sexual assault are health issues? Of the estimated 6.9 million intimate partner rapes and physical assaults committed annually, 2.6 million result in an injury to the survivor, and over 695,400 will result in medical treatment. Survivors are more likely to experience numerous chronic health problems including depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, chronic pain syndrome, gynecological problems, irritable bowel syndrome, eating disorders, and complications during pregnancy than those who are not survivors. Medical expenses from domestic abuse total $3-5 billion annually. Businesses forfeit another $100 million in lost wages, sick leave, absenteeism, and non-productivity. The American Medical Association (AMA) and the Surgeon General released a statement in 1993 that domestic abuse is the single major cause of injury to women. Research has shown that 21% of women using hospital emergency services are battered. Battering during pregnancy is more common and has just as serious consequences as the conditions routinely tested for in prenatal care; medical consequences include increased rates of miscarriage, stillbirth, low birth rate, and risk of homicide. The average rape or attempted rape costs $5,100 in tangible, out-of-pocket expenses. Medical and mental health care to the survivor represents the bulk of the expenses. Adding the impact the rape has on the survivor’s quality of life, the average rape costs $87,000 annually. Because of a lack of training on what to look for and how to ask about domestic abuse, survivors remain unidentified by medical professionals in most communities. According to the Iowa Department of Public Health, only 42 of 117 hospitals have received intensive training on domestic abuse screening and protocols and made subsequent commitments to creating and implementing policies surrounding the issue. Recently, CIS, Mahaska Health Partnership, Keokuk County Health Center, and Keokuk County Public Health wrote a grant together to try to receive the necessary funding for such training.
Counting on the Community
Our community has been very responsive to the funding cuts being experienced
by Crisis Intervention Services (CIS) and highlighted in a recent Oskaloosa
Herald article. One of CIS’s many supporters, Clow Manufacturing,
learned in October that the transmission had gone out of the used van
they had donated over a year ago. They responded by taking back the
van and replacing it with a different one. Having a reliable van is
critical to providing comprehensive services to victims of abuse. Without
a reliable vehicle, some women would not get to work on time. Others
would have a difficult time getting their children to school. Many
would not be able to keep important appointments. And most of all,
some would not have been able to come to the shelter had there not
been a van to transport them safely. The timing of Clow’s donation
was particularly significant. October is National Domestic Violence
Awareness Month – a month dedicated to raising awareness of the
violence that many people face every day. “CIS is thankful for
such strong community support. We are confident that continued assistance
will pull us through,” said Dawn Stephens, Executive Director.
Date Set for CIS Golf Tournament
By Debbie Doty, Board Member
The date for the 3rd annual CIS Charity Golf Tournament has been set for Saturday, May 31, at Elmhurst Country Club. This is a 4-person scramble with a shotgun start. The tournament is flighted with great hole prizes. Last year we raised nearly $3,000 with this event, and hope to do even better this year. Many businesses in Mahaska and Keokuk counties donated prizes last year, while others served as hole and tournament sponsors. A letter for sponsorship will be mailed out in late February. If your business would like to sponsor the tournament, or if you would like to make sure you receive a registration form to play in the tournament, please call Debbie Doty, fundraising committee chairperson, at 641-673-4173.
Christmas in the Shelter
By A Shelter Resident
Life in the shelter is totally different than I expected. I was homeless and scared. I came into the shelter with one set of clothes. I was greeted by a warm, caring woman who treated me human. My self-esteem was nil. Not only was I given personal items and food, but I was made to feel important. They welcomed me with a smile, a shoulder to cry on, and a positive attitude. They also helped me with desperately needed medications. Without this shelter, I would not have had a choice to leave a bad situation. I would have been stuck with defeat. I thank God every day for such a wonderful place to be. Christmas in the shelter is rough in some ways. I miss my family, my children the most. I want to hide in my room and pretend it’s just another day. The staff and community are very kind to help us through this time. We are treated like family, always welcome to talk to any staff member. Some go over and above their jobs. They come in constantly, even on their days off, just to be here for us when times are rough and feelings are shattered, even though they have families of their own. This year? My Christmas was good. I was given gifts, but most important—one woman sacrificed her Christmas to make mine. Because of the shelter, I have two jobs, a car, and a better outlook on life. Because of them, I can be me.
I am Free
By A Shelter Resident
I cry, but you don’t hear me,
cause you’re deafened to the sound.
I think I still may love you,
that’s why I’m still around.
You abuse me, then shirk me,
yet you don’t understand.
I’m growing stronger day by day,
I’m gaining the upper hand.
I run to a shelter,
where I can be safe from you.
I become more independent,
and learn that I have value too.
I’m scared, but I don’t miss you,
I’m finally finding me.
It wasn’t all a bad experience,
Because now I’m truly free!
Debates Should Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
The debates surrounding domestic violence remain focused on the urgency of intervention and punishment and on the abuser primarily viewed as male. Almost no serious attention is given to prevention. And many people have avoided confronting the evidence and issues of women’s violence because they have worked so hard to focus our society on not blaming women for their own abuse. But, some women are violent. Women abuse their intimate partners. Women abuse their children. Domestic violence happens in gay and lesbian relationships at the same rates as in heterosexual relationships. It is difficult to find unbiased reports of violence rates by gender because of political agendas. Some research shows that women are equally as violent as men, other research shows that men are far more violent than women. We cannot deny the fact that women are capable of violence and that men are abused. Until we, as sisters and brothers, challenge ourselves and hold ourselves accountable, we will not end domestic violence. We cannot find a solution if we segregate ourselves by gender and point fingers at each other for being the ones to blame. We need to focus on solutions, not agendas.
Shelter in Need of Repair
By Rhonda Zella, Board Member
Where were you when the tragedy on September 11 happened? I remember exactly where I was. That day, I decided I would do something to make the world a better place. I wanted to take an active role in the world I live in, making it a better place for my family, especially my children, and the children of my community. So this is my plan and I hope you will help. The CIS shelter is a large Victorian style home that is on the national registry. I toured the home and it brought a wave of emotions much like “Sept. 11th.” The home is in great need of repair as it is not able to keep up with the wear and tear of so many individual families. The windows are old and need replaced, in fact, most are painted shut. The flooring is dirty and in poor repair. The furniture is spotty and smelly, and much of it is broken. The front porch has loose boards, and the back porch appears as though it may just fall off. A cold stream of air runs down the chimney. I am in the process of accumulating funds to repair and replace many items throughout the home. Volunteers will be needed to help paint, clean, and participate in other crucial aspects of this important project. All funds that I raise will be used exclusively for this cause. Together, you and I, will make a difference.
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